Caregiver helps elderly woman off of a couch
February 09, 2023

Elderly Care Tips For What To Do If Your Parent Refuses Help

Getting older brings on drastic changes to our habits and aspects of our lifestyle, many of which are ingrained in us from youth. And while we all know that getting older is a part of life, it can be more difficult for others to accept–especially when it comes to losing our sense of independence. As our parents and loved ones grow older, it can be difficult to watch daily tasks become more challenging for them, but it can be even more difficult for them to accept any kind of help. So if this situation sounds familiar to you and your family, you are not alone. Unfortunately, it is very common for elderly parents to refuse assistance, and although you can’t force help upon them, you can help them to understand why it’s in their best interest.

Today, we will be sharing elderly care tips on how to approach this sensitive situation with your parents or elderly loved ones.

Signs That Your Aging Loved Ones May Need Help

It may be difficult to notice differences in behavior when you don’t live close to a family member. A family member may withdraw from activities, forget to take medication, or stop taking care of themselves or their home. These signs may seem small, but they are crucial for an aging parent or relative’s safety and well-being. With the person’s permission, you could contact people who see the person regularly—neighbors, friends, doctors, or local relatives, for example—and ask them to call you with any concerns.

You might also ask if you can check in with them periodically. Look for safety issues and the overall condition of the home, and try to determine your loved one’s mood and general health status.

If your elderly loved one shows any of the following signs, it may be time to consider in-home care:

  • Health issues
  • Vision or hearing impairment
  • Memory loss or confusion 
  • Loneliness or depression
  • Inability to complete daily tasks (personal care, hygiene, cooking, cleaning, etc.)

How To Address Your Concerns

It can be difficult for parents to hear that they may need assistance with their daily activities at home. So when that conversation does take place, it can be unpleasant for children or family members. The key to a productive conversation is communication. And while it is important to voice your concerns about their well-being, it is just as critical for you to focus on the positives that come along with in-home care.  Instead of telling your parents the activities they can’t do and pointing out their limitations, focus on what’s important to them and their values. If their identity is closely tied to independence, reinforce the idea that allowing some help here and there will maintain that independence and allow them to continue to do the activities they enjoy. When discussing caregivers, you want to reiterate that they will be a source of companionship.

Here are some additional elderly care tips on how to talk to a parent about receiving in-home assistance:

  1. Get support from siblings and family members. 
  2. Don’t push the subject if they are strongly against it, and instead, come up with a new way to approach the conversation.
  3. Show empathy and compassion and remind them that the support they receive will still be in the comfort of their own home.
  4. Focus on the companionship and light housekeeping aspect of in-home support. This could help them to feel better about accepting assistance. 
  5. Present them with home care options and have an open discussion about the services they would be willing to try out.

Choosing In-Home Care Options

Once your parents agree to in-home care, it’s time to find a home care provider that is the right fit for their needs. When looking for an agency, be sure to look at their credentials and experience; ask them about their background, training and certifications.

At Home Care Connectors and our medical affiliate Health Care Connectors, our mission is to provide the highest quality of care to all of our clients. Our team includes nurses, therapists, and caregivers who deliver professional and compassionate care in the comfort and familiarity of a client’s home. We proudly provide a range of home care services and are available 24/7 to help when you or a loved one need it most. If you would like to learn more about our in-home care services for your elderly parents, contact us today.